The JAMBO-150
If you’re one of those Americans who actually THINKS about things, then you probably like to get your FACTS straight from the SOURCE. And if you’re someone who actually thinks about things, then you’re likely a TOUGH individual with a REAL job—not a STUPID influencer or a BORING accountant. And if you’re someone with a real job, then you probably don’t have time to SCROLL through social media, looking for your daily news and FACTS.
Well my friend, the EAGLE has landed. With a product so TOUGH, you better believe the JAMBO-150 delivers. Made with all-American STEEL, and assembled under poor conditions in other nameless countries, the JAMBO-150 brings you all the REAL AMERICAN facts you need: in an instant.
Strap the JAMBO-150 to your incredibly INTELLIGENT noggin, and get an immediate download of all the news, facts, and “conspiracies” you need to go about your day. What’s WHITE (and blue) and read all over? That’s right. The JAMBO-150.
You can JAMBO in your pickup on the way to work. You can JAMBO in the evening during the fox news news. Stop WASTING time reading the Faceplace or other FAKE media, when you can STREAM GerpaFacts™ directly to your eye holes.
What are GerpaFacts™? First our patented JAMBO technology scans your PATRIOTIC retinas. Then the JAMBO-150 sends you MIGHTY facts that you want to hear, based on your ENORMOUS brain activity. Example: is there something WRONG with the American DEMOCRACY? JAMBO-15 will confirm either way.
Ready to stop feeling like a WEAK, ugly worm in the DIRT? Start feeling like a BEAR with the strength of 10 MILLION NASCARS with the JAMBO-150.
AMERICA. SUPERIOR. FACTS. CAPITALISM. JAMBO-150.
If you’re one of those Americans who actually THINKS about things, then you probably like to get your FACTS straight from the SOURCE. And if you’re someone who actually thinks about things, then you’re likely a TOUGH individual with a REAL job—not a STUPID influencer or a BORING accountant. And if you’re someone with a real job, then you probably don’t have time to SCROLL through social media, looking for your daily news and FACTS.
Well my friend, the EAGLE has landed. With a product so TOUGH, you better believe the JAMBO-150 delivers. Made with all-American STEEL, and assembled under poor conditions in other nameless countries, the JAMBO-150 brings you all the REAL AMERICAN facts you need: in an instant.
Strap the JAMBO-150 to your incredibly INTELLIGENT noggin, and get an immediate download of all the news, facts, and “conspiracies” you need to go about your day. What’s WHITE (and blue) and read all over? That’s right. The JAMBO-150.
You can JAMBO in your pickup on the way to work. You can JAMBO in the evening during the fox news news. Stop WASTING time reading the Faceplace or other FAKE media, when you can STREAM GerpaFacts™ directly to your eye holes.
What are GerpaFacts™? First our patented JAMBO technology scans your PATRIOTIC retinas. Then the JAMBO-150 sends you MIGHTY facts that you want to hear, based on your ENORMOUS brain activity. Example: is there something WRONG with the American DEMOCRACY? JAMBO-15 will confirm either way.
Ready to stop feeling like a WEAK, ugly worm in the DIRT? Start feeling like a BEAR with the strength of 10 MILLION NASCARS with the JAMBO-150.
AMERICA. SUPERIOR. FACTS. CAPITALISM. JAMBO-150.
If you’re one of those Americans who actually THINKS about things, then you probably like to get your FACTS straight from the SOURCE. And if you’re someone who actually thinks about things, then you’re likely a TOUGH individual with a REAL job—not a STUPID influencer or a BORING accountant. And if you’re someone with a real job, then you probably don’t have time to SCROLL through social media, looking for your daily news and FACTS.
Well my friend, the EAGLE has landed. With a product so TOUGH, you better believe the JAMBO-150 delivers. Made with all-American STEEL, and assembled under poor conditions in other nameless countries, the JAMBO-150 brings you all the REAL AMERICAN facts you need: in an instant.
Strap the JAMBO-150 to your incredibly INTELLIGENT noggin, and get an immediate download of all the news, facts, and “conspiracies” you need to go about your day. What’s WHITE (and blue) and read all over? That’s right. The JAMBO-150.
You can JAMBO in your pickup on the way to work. You can JAMBO in the evening during the fox news news. Stop WASTING time reading the Faceplace or other FAKE media, when you can STREAM GerpaFacts™ directly to your eye holes.
What are GerpaFacts™? First our patented JAMBO technology scans your PATRIOTIC retinas. Then the JAMBO-150 sends you MIGHTY facts that you want to hear, based on your ENORMOUS brain activity. Example: is there something WRONG with the American DEMOCRACY? JAMBO-15 will confirm either way.
Ready to stop feeling like a WEAK, ugly worm in the DIRT? Start feeling like a BEAR with the strength of 10 MILLION NASCARS with the JAMBO-150.
AMERICA. SUPERIOR. FACTS. CAPITALISM. JAMBO-150.